Amnesia
by Lost Cullen
Summary: My first fanfic. Bella and Edward are in love. What happens when a car accident leaves Bella without a memory? Will she and Edward still find love? Or will the truth drive her away? AU, canon pairings.
1. Chapter 1 Damage

Chapter One- Damage

Slowly I opened my eyes to a new day. A soft tinkling sound drew my attention to my window. It was raining, again. Figures.

When I moved to Forks, Washington I knew it would be a big change from my old home in Phoenix, Arizona. But the rain had been the worst. I was never a big fan of any cold wet thing. I laughed at that thought.

_Until Edward._ I sighed as I thought his name.

Everything had changed when I met him. It was like my world had righted itself. Like nothing had made sense until Edward came into my life. It was so difficult for me to believe that someone as perfect as he was would want to spend all of eternity with me.

_If only he would change me himself. _

I had long ago decided that I would become a vampire like the rest of the Cullens. I wanted Edward, and I wouldn't settle for anything less than eternity to be with him.

I pushed myself out of bed and headed downstairs. I did a quick survey of the house and realized Charlie was out fishing.

_Fi__na__lly, a day to myself. Well myself and Edward._ I smiled at that thought. It never ceased to amaze me how often Edward appeared in my thoughts.

I glanced at the calendar hanging on the side of the refrigerator and noticed it's been almost two years since I first met Edward.

_Yeah, two years and an eternity._ I thought. It felt like I'd known Edward for so much longer. I grabbed a cereal bowl from the cupboard as I continued my train of thought.

I gasped as two cold arms wrapped around my waist from behind. My bowl crashed and bounced off the floor. _Good thing it was plastic. _

"I'm sorry love. I didn't mean to startle you."

Edward's voice was like velvet. Caressing every part of me with it's richness.

_How crazy is that? His voice makes me tremble_. _I'm completely hop__e__less._

I turned in his arms and pressed my lips to his. As usual my heart sped up. Pounding frantically in my chest. My lips molded to his and I snaked my arms around his neck, running my fingers in his hair. But it wasn't enough. Kissing Edward never was. I twisted my fingers in his hair, using the leverage to pull him closer. I tried to press my body fully to his. Edward sighed and pulled away.

"Bella." He said my name as a warning. I knew he worried he would lose control and kill me if he got too excited. But it was so hard to remember that. My whole body was tingling, and my head was spinning. I was practically panting.

"Sorry." I felt a blush flame to life in my cheeks. That was one thing I wouldn't miss when I became a vampire.

Edward reached up and gently stroked my burning cheek. His golden eyes smoldered into mine. Instantly my brain emptied of all thought. All I wanted was to kiss him again.

"I know you think I have an iron will, but that isn't true. Please don't make this any harder, love." Edward flashed me my favorite crooked grin.

I sighed and rested my head against his chest. " I love you"

"As I love you. What are you buttering me up for?"

_How did h_e _always know? _

I didn't look at him, instead I stared intently at the third button on his shirt. I knew if I looked into his beautiful honey colored eyes I would chicken out

"I was thinking about going to see Jacob today." I waited for what felt like an eternity. Finally I gave up and looked at Edward. He was staring off into space a blank look on his face.

"So...what do you think?" I tried again.

"Bella, I don't think that would be a good idea. Jacob's unstable right now."

"Unstable? No he's not. Edward he's perfectly capable of controlling himself."

Edward got off the bed and paced the small space in my bedroom. His expression was one of anger and frustration.

"He's a young werewolf Bella. They aren't known for their self control.. If he phased anywhere near you, you could be seriously injured. You know that."

I got up and went to stand by my door. I crossed my arms and gave him my stern, 'I mean business' look. We continued our staring contest for several seconds before Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. I knew I was upsetting him, but I needed to make him see that Jacob was a friend, my best friend. He needed me, how could I not go to him?

"Bella, I can't take the chance that you'd be hurt. You are my life, I can't lose you."

His velvet voice sent shivers down my spine. I stared into his eyes but before I could feel the effects of his talents I shook my head. I walked over to stand in front of him, and pointed a finger at his chest.

"Do not even try to dazzle me! I'm serious, and shame on you for trying to distract me."

He laughed and ran a hand carelessly through his hair. "Honestly Bella, I'm not trying to dazzle you." He reached out and wrapped an arm around my waist. Leaning close he brushed his lips against my ear and whispered, "You'd know it if I was." I shivered again. My heart skidded into double time, the thudding was almost painful.

"Can we make a compromise Bella? Please?"

I considered that. It was the least I could do.

"Alright, lets negotiate."

"Wait, a few weeks. When he's had some more time to learn more self-control I will personally escort you to the treaty line."

"Really? Hm..." I knew it wasn't right, but if I let Edward think I'd agreed to the compromise, I would get to see Jake and Edward wouldn't have to worry needlessly.  
I wound my arms around his waist and laid my head against his chest. I sighed and smiled up at Edward.

"Thank you Bella. That means a lot to me."

Guilt quickly assaulted me. I didn't want to have to deceive him, but Jacob deserved better from me too. Figures, I'd be the only girl in the world who's boyfriend and best friend would be not only mortal enemies, but mythical creatures as well.

I waited until Edward and his family had left to go hunting. I spent all day avoiding all thought of my plan, leaving the details completely undecided. I knew if I thought my plan through, Alice would have a vision of it.. Edward would read her mind, and they'd come storming over here to stand guard. It was really frustrating with those two sometimes.

I got in my truck and heading to La Push. I somehow managed to keep things undecided, but when I was within minutes of the treaty line I stomped on the gas and pushed my poor truck to it's top speed of 55mph. The poor old thing was shaking and I was starting to wonder if I would even make it.

I watched the rear view mirror expecting to see Edwards silver Volvo appear out of thin air. But I was the only car on the road. A flash in my peripheral vision caught my attention. I felt my face freeze in horror as a deer leaped over the guardrail mere feet in front of me. I didn't have time to think, I just reacted. I yanked the steering wheel to the left trying in vain to avoid the poor animal. But a second later I realized my mistake as the deer was still moving I swerved right towards it. I yanked the wheel back to the right. Adrenaline coursed through me, I was shaking so hard I could hardly grip the steering wheel. My breath came out in shallow pants. It was already too late when I realized I was swerving right towards the guardrail and the embankment below. I slammed on the brake and felt the truck shudder. The smell of burning rubber assaulted my nose, burning.

All I could do was brace myself. A second later I crashed through the guardrail, the force slamming me back in my seat. My head flopped around painfully. I screamed as the truck dove through the embankment. The truck hit a boulder the force slammed my forehead into the steering wheel. Pain erupted and I screamed again. My head was on fire. But it was nothing compared to the panic threatening to crush me.

_Edward I'm so sorry, if only I'd listened to you. Forgive me. _I thought frantically, hoping I survived this.

I felt the truck roll and pain erupted on the side of my head. Was it even possible to feel more pain?

I felt the warmth of blood running down the side of my face. The salty, metallic smell making my head swim. My head bounced off the steering wheel one more time and the last thing I thought before unconsciousness claimed me was of Edward.

_I_ _love you!_

And then there was nothing.


	2. Chapter 2 Heartbreak

Chapter Two-Heartbreak

I was headed to pick up Bella, with Alice. Minutes earlier Alice had had a vision that Bella was going to sneak to La Push. Instantly I was furious. I had specifically asked Bella not to go there. I explained the danger of young werewolves and though we'd argued a bit she eventually...

_Bella didn't actually agree not to go see Jacob!_ I realized with horror. I had simply taken her silence as agreement.

I heard Alice gasp and didn't have to look at her to know she was having another vision. I watched her eyes focus again and waited. Terror and pain etched across her pixie features. My still heart felt as if it were going to burst.

"Alice, what is it?"

"Bella..." Alice trailed off as her vision lost focus again. This time only for a second before she screamed. A shrill ear-splitting scream.

My foot slammed on the gas and I watched as the speedometer pushed past 120mph. I gritted my teeth and growled my warning at Alice.

"Alice. What. Happened."

"Bella's going to be in a car accident. Edward it's bad."

I put all my focus on pushing down the gas pedal. I WOULD make it to Bella in time. Nothing was going to happen to her.

"How long Alice?"

Alice searched and quickly had an answer. "A few minutes Edward. I'm sorry."

A long line of curses I wouldn't normally utter in front of a woman poured from my mouth. Terror clawed at my heart. I knew I wouldn't make it in time to save Bella. And I battled the guilt that threatened to crush me. We rounded a corner and I heard the horrible screech of tires. Metal crunched against metal, the sound like nails on a chalkboard. I could hear the deafening thud as Bella truck rolled down the embankment. This was one time I was sorry I had such extraordinary hearing. I tried to tune out the sounds of Bella accident as I pushed the gas even harder.

"Hurry Edward!! We're almost there!!" Alice voice was as brittle as glass, and a quick glance at her face told me she wasn't faring any better than I was.

We arrived at the scene of the accident seconds after it happened. I could smell the burnt rubber, the black skid marks on the ground mocking us as we ran to the edge. I noticed half of the guardrail had been torn from the ground. There were deep trenches in the soil where Bella's truck had tried to gain traction. My stomach twisted at the sight and if I could have vomited I would have.

Bella's truck lay on it's roof, the passenger's side resting against a tree. I could see shattered glass everywhere. Blood had been splattered on the ground too.

I broke into a run to get to Bella. But as soon as my eyes focused on her body, I froze. I felt a whir of air as Alice passed me. But just as quickly she was frozen too. There was a huge gash on the side of her head. Blood spilling all over. And at one point that blood would have called to me. All it meant now was that the reason for my existence was dying. If that happened I would cease to excist myself. I ran the last few yards to her. And I dropped to my knees as the sight before me. I could hear Alice standing close behind me whimpering Bella's name over and over.

I tried to stay calm as I took stock of her injuries. Besides the gash I could see that her legs were pinned under the steering column. She was so pale, more so than had human I had ever seen.

_Is she breathing? Edward! Is she breathing?_ Alice begged silently in my mind. I closed my mind as much as possible so I could focus on Bella.

Slowly I reached for her arm, feeling for a pulse. It was there, barely. I noticed the arm I held in my hand was broken.

_Bella, my Bella, so beaten and broken. Will she ever forgive me for not getting to her sooner? Do I even deserve to be forgiven? _My tortured thoughts were interrupted by Alice. She was shoving a phone into my free hand.

_Call the paramedics Edward. We can't move her like this. And Carlisle wouldn't be able to get to her in time._

I kept one hand on Bella's pulse while I dialed 911 and gave the location to the operator. It seemed an eternity before I could hear the sirens racing towards us. Finally I watched the paramedics slowly making their way down the incline. I wished I could mentally hurry them along. I vowed that if Bella died because they didn't get to her in time, I would kill them.

It was physically painful to watch them carefully extract Bella from the truck. I was pushed back by a paramedic and told to stay. I wanted so badly to be by her side. They put a brace around her neck and strapped her to a board. A brace was placed on her left leg, as well as on her left arm. I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding when they finally loaded her into the ambulance.

"Edward?" A weak voice called me. It was Bella.

Since the paramedics had their back to me I ran to her, not caring about the speed. When I was at her side I gently took her cold hand in mine. Her eyes were barely open, I didn't think she could even see me. Bruises were starting to form all over her face.

"I'm here, love. Rest now, you'll be fine."

"Edward," Her voice strained to be loud enough to be heard,"Edward, I love you."

"And I love you. Sleep now, love." And with that she was put in the ambulance and racing away from me. Alice dropped to ground beside me. Loud, dry sobs racked her tiny body. But I barely heard them, the pain and anguish were crushing me.

I clawed at the place where my still, aching heart lay. Trying to rip it out, something to distract me from the other pain I was feeling. My whole world was on the verge of collapsing.


	3. Chapter 3 Awakening

**A/N I don't own twilight, or any of it's characters. I'm just borrowing them for a little while.**

**Hope you all like this chapter!!**

Chapter Three- Awakening

It was dark, and quiet. Almost peaceful. I felt like I was swimming in the darkness. So warm, so relaxing. Pulling me further and further down into oblivion. I was so comfortable and I never wanted to leave. My very own dark refuge. It was timeless here.

_Hours, even days could pass and I wouldn't even notice._ That thought made me pause.

_How long had I been here? And how do I get out of here?_

The relaxed feeling was fading fast, replaced by a new sensation. Panic.

_Where am I? Okay Bella, calm down. Try to figure this out. What do you notice?_

I tried to listen, but it felt like there was cotton in my ears.

_Well, I can't see anything, and I can't hear anything. Great._

It was at that moment that I noticed the smell. It burned my nose slightly. Like someone had sprayed way too much disinfectant. But I noticed other smells. Sickness, and cleanliness. There was something in my nose pushing a light breeze of air in.

_Oxygen. Oh y_ay_, I must be in a hospital. Okay I have to wake up. _

As I became more aware of myself, other things became clearer. I noticed bright light fighting to break through my eyelids. I was beginning to hear muffled sounds.

_If only I could get this cotton feeling out of my ears._ No sooner had that thought crossed my mind theI could hear people talking. I recognized my mother's voice.

_God, Renee must be freaking out. Great._

I hated to worry her. I fought the last remnants of unconsciousness until the pain engulfed me. My head was on fire. And I couldn't move my left leg. My left arm felt awkward held against my body. It must have been in a sling. Great. I pushed my heavy eyelids to open, and blinding light assaulted me. I groaned, rolling my head to the side. Nausea assaulted me and it was all I could do not to vomit all over myself.

_Things just keep getting better and better. _I thought bitterly.

"Bella, honey are you awake. Are you alright?" Renee jumped out of her seat and moved to hover over my injured side. It was strange to know Rene was acting like a typical mother. For most of my life I have been the one to look after her. Making sure she never forgot anything for work. Reminding her to drop the movies off at the video store on time, to pick up her dry cleaning. Charging her phone for her because she forgot. Renee had always been a wonderful mother, but as a person she was scatter brained and disorganized. So I was forced to be the exact opposite. It was just my nature. Renee always joked I was seventeen going on thirty.

My throat worked but the only sound that escaped was a strange croak. I swallowed and tried again, " Mom," was all I could manage. I was still unable to open my eyes.

"Bella how are you feelin'?"

_Why was Charlie all the way in Phoenix? Had I hurt myself that badly?_

It was not unusual for me to end up in the hospital. I was so clumsy that I should come with my own warning. If there was anything to trip over I would find it, and usually I would trip over nothing but my own feet. Of course that would explain why neither one of them sounded particularly distressed.

I forced my eyes open ignoring how the light made my head throb harder.. I saw Renee's face sitting on my left side and Charlie's on my right. But it was the boy sitting near the end of my bed that made be pause.

_Who is he? And why is he staring at me like his whole life has improved because I'm awake?_

"How long was I out?"

"About a week Bells. You're pretty banged up." Charlie answered, his eyes filling with tears.

_Figures. Charlie would be the more emotional one._ _Nothing is ever as it should be with my family. Wait, did he say a week? I lost a whole week of my life?_

"A week!" I tried to say more but my throat was so dry I couldn't make another sound. I raised my good arm and rubbed my throat. Pausing I felt the scabs all over.

_Had my throat been cut? How badly?_ My wide, panicked eyes flew past everyone surrounding me intent on finding my mother. But against my will I found myself staring into the black eyes of the boy at the foot of my bed..

_Who is he? And why is he here? _

I couldn't stop myself from wondering about the pained look on his face. At further inspection he looked awful, well as awful as a gorgeous god could look. He had deep purplish bruises under his eyes. He was so pale, like he'd never stepped foot outside. His hair was an absolute mess. Bronze colored strands standing in all directions, stylists would have paid the big bucks to find out how he made that look so effortless.

As he saw my hand at my throat an expression of pure agony crossed his features. I gasped at the force of it, my own heart twisting painfully. I ached for his pain, and I had no idea why.

Rene heard my gasp and assumed it was due to my dry throat. She handed my a small white cup of lukewarm water. I accepted it with a shaky hand. My eyes kept darting to the strange boy and Charlie seemed to finally notice..

"Edward's been here since you arrived. He's the one that called the paramedics. He never leaves." Charlie's cell phone rang and he excused himself to take the call.

_Edward. Edward._ I repeated the name over and over in my head. Hoping it would help me remember who he was. _Should I know who he is?_

But everyone was staring at me waiting for me to say something. My eyes moved again to the boy named Edward. As soon as I looked at him he spoke.

"Alice will be here later this afternoon. She'll be ecstatic when she hears you're awake." Edward got up and came to kneel next to my bed so that his face was inches from mine.

"Bella, how are you feeling? Do you need more pain medication? Another pillow? God I've been so worried." His words were so quiet I didn't think Rene couldn't hear him, how could she? I could barely hear him. I glanced over and watched Rene quickly exit the room.

"Bella?" Edward sounded confused.

_Maybe he should step into my shoes and find out how confused really feels._ I thought as I searched his strange black eyes hoping to feel a glimmer of recognition. But there was nothing.

"Bella, what are you thinking? What's wrong? Please!" The last word came out sounding like an tortured plea.

_I must have hit my head pretty hard. His breathe feels unnaturally cold. And he smells amazing._ But the smell wasn't the doused in cologne smell most young men had. No, Edward smelled like nothing I could even describe. It was so sweet and intoxicating.

"Who are you?" I whispered. I watched as Edwards face went from hopeful to pained. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. I got the feeling that he was rarely at a lose for words, and I would have giggled if the situation didn't feel so serious.

"You don't remember who I am?"

"I'm sorry, should I?" I said pleadingly.

I wanted to know him, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't recall who he was. There were no memories of him. No feelings to let me know what our relationship had been. Whenever I thought of him all there was was a big empty black whole. And with that realization pain crept back into my chest. Absently I rubbed the spot on my chest where the strange pain erupted.

Edward was instantly alert, "What is it Bella? Are you in pain?" His eyes scanned every inch of me as if the pain were visible to the naked eye.

"No, I'm fine." Abruptly Edward stood up, his expression unreadable.

"Why don't I go and let you get some rest. I'm sure your memory will come back after you've gotten some sleep." I wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure me or himself.

He bent down and kissed my forehead. His lips seemed to linger there. Finally he turned and strode out of the room leaving me baffled. I had no idea where he fit into my life or how. He was gorgeous, beautiful in a timeless way. And the spot on my skin where he'd kissed me was tingling strangely. As if a mild electric current had touched me there.

I heard my door open and the quiet tread of a hospital employee.

"It's time for your pain meds hun." She finished with my IV and left as quietly as she'd come. I was still thinking about Edward as my eyes got heavier. I gave up fighting and let myself drift asleep. The last thought that occurred to me before sleep claimed me was how cold Edwards lips had been.. Like he'd been eating ice for hours.

I slowly let myself wake up. I could tell by the smell that I was still in the hospital. But I was unsure what day is was, or what time it was. I could still feel the lingering effects of the pain medication. If I allowed myself the luxury, I could have drifted right back into sleep. But a noise to my left had my eyes opening before I could stop them.

_Jake. Thank God._ I couldn't explain why I was so relieved to see him. Maybe it was the fact that I remembered his face. That was a huge relief and I was glad not to have to deal with the sinking confusion I felt every time I looked at Edward. Looking at Jake felt normal, and real.

"Hey Bells, how're you feelin'?" Jake's eyes assessed my body much the same way Edward had.

"I'm fine." I recognized the sarcastic look of disbelief on Jacob's face and winced slightly. "Okay, I'm sore and tired."

"I knew it. You don't have to hide anything from me. Besides you're an awful liar, remember." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Jacob reached over quickly and grabbed my hand. I gasped at the contact. It was so different from Edwards. His skin was like fire. My eyes bore into Jacob's.

"Are you okay? You must be burning up!" I stopped talking, confused again. Jake was laughing so hard his huge shoulder's shook.

"I fail to see what is so funny, Jacob Black." I tried my best to sound stern.

"Sorry Bells. It's just that I don't know if I can explain it to you right now. I don't know if Sam would appreciate it." Jake wiped the moisture from his eyes, still chuckling.

_What does that mean? He can't explain what again? Maybe I'm not the only one who should be in the hospital._ I thought as I watched Jake trace circles on my hand.

We were silent for a few minutes, and surprisingly it was a comfortable silence. I didn't feel like I had to come up with something clever to say. But then again Jake and I had always been like this. It was wonderful.

"So Bells. Has Edward come to see you yet." Jake's voice was so quite I leaned forward slightly to hear. I noticed how his face twisted slightly when he said Edwards name.

I felt instantly saddened when I thought of Edward. I remembered his sad face when he realized I had no memory of him. And the weird unexplainable pain in my chest as I watched the agony play across his face. And even now the pain was creeping back. I hated thinking of hurting Edward, but I had no idea why.

"I guess he was here with me the whole time I was unconscious." I stared at the blanket on my bed as I answered him.

"So why isn't he here now?"

"I sent him home Jake." I looked into his eyes and knew I had to tell him the rest. "Jake, there's more..." I let my voice trail off as I waited for his answer.

"What?"

"I don't remember him. Edward. Who was he to me? Please Jake tell me!" I pleaded watching the uncertainty play across his face. Then Jake's face hardened and he finally met my eyes.

"He was your fiancee Bella."

_I was engaged? To Edward!! Well, I guess technically I still am. Edward was a living god, why would he want to spend his life with me? _

"You need to ask him any other questions. I can't answer anymore." Jake's voice cut through my thoughts. There was an edge in his voice that disturbed me.

"Are you angry with me Jake?"

"God, no Bells. This is very complicated. Just talk to Edward, okay?" As Jacob spoke he rose as started backing towards the door.

"You're leaving already?"

"You need your rest Bells. And I just can't sit here and talk to you about him" Again Jake sneered as he referred to Edward. Jake paused as if mentally arguing with himself. My eyes widened as he strode back to me purposely. With as much care as his big frame allowed Jake leaned over my and gently pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was over as soon as it started. With that Jacob was gone and I was left more confused than ever.

_Why couldn't Jake tell me about Edward. And why did he seem a little happy about the fact that I don't remember my fiancee? And when the hell did Edward and I get engaged? And why did he have to kiss me? _

The touch of Jacob's lips were the exact opposite of Edwards.

Edward's light kiss om my forehead had been light as a feather and gentle. His lips so cold. And then there had been the strange tingling his lips left on my skin. It was like my body was just as aware of him as it had always been.

_Now if I could just get my mind on the same track. _I thought bitterly as I began to feel a slight throbbing in my head. I ignored it and continued analyzing.

Jake's kiss had been gentle, but there was a hint of desperation in the way his lips rubbed over mine. And his skin was hot. Like there was a fire burning inside his body.

The more I thought, the more confused I became.

_I wonder if this will be a permanent state of mind for me? _I thought as I played my conversation with Jake over in my head. Something wasn't right. Something was wrong with Edward and Jake. I needed to find out the truth. I was so sure something was being hidden from me. I just didn't know what.

The throbbing increased painfully as I tried to remember Edward. But there was still nothing.

_Why do I feel this pull towards him if I can't remember him. _The only answer I had was the fact that I'd obviously spent a lot of time with him. We were engaged after all.

Against my will I began feeling tired again. And before I could get ready to fight the impending sleep, I drifted off.


	4. Chapter 4 Memories

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed they mean so much to me!!! I'm sorry it took me a little longer this time to update. I hope you enjoy!!!

A/N: I do not own Twilight or it's characters. I'm merely kidnapping them for a while.

Chapter Four- Memories

It was Tuesday, exactly 4 weeks since I'd been in the car accident. I was finally discharged from the hospital, and if I was being honest with myself, I was absolutely terrified about coming home. The thought of all the people from my school stopping by, trying to jog my memory made me want to curl into a little ball and cry.

It was like my whole life had been flushed down the toilet. How can a person lose years of their life? How can a person forget the people they've known for years?

I tried to keep from thinking about how bad it would be when everyone came to see how I was. I got in the backseat of Charlie's cruiser and scooched over so Edward could get in too. He'd stayed with me every night while I was in the hospital. It was nice to have someone there, but awkward at the same time. As I began to think about the awkwardness, the horrible fears came back.

_All those faces and voices, I wouldn't recognize. _

My thoughts boarded on desperate. I put my head in my hands, the whole situaton was hopeless. I felt the hot sting of tears, humiliation surrounded me.

_Great._ _Now I'm the pathetic girl who can't keep it together. _

I felt a cool hand on my arm. Edward. It was so strange. His touch was so comforting. I always found it was easier to breath when he was near me, his hand at my waist. How odd that a perfect stranger could have that effect on me. But then again he wasn't always a perfect stranger.

"Bella? Love, what is it? Why are you crying?" Edward's voice was like pure honey. Warm and smooth.

The tears coursed over my cheeks, and my hands were shaking.

"I can't do this. All those people, all those faces, and I'll have no idea who they are! It's so frustrating to want to remember something and instead of a memory there's a big fat empty hole." The last of my sentence escaped on a sob.

I felt Edward pull me against his side and bury his face in my hair. "It's alright. I'll be by your side through the whole thing. If it gets to be to much say the word and I'll take you away from it all." And I believed him. With every fiber of my being, I believed him.

I leaned back against the leather seat and noticed Charlie watching me from the rear-view mirror. I knew he was worried about me. But I had nothing to give him to reassure him that'd I be okay. How could I reassure him, when I was so lost myself? I leaned my head against the cold glass and closed my eyes. A few minutes passed and I felt the car slow and stop.

Cautiously I opened my eyes, waiting for the emptiness to attack me. Instead I gasped, when I saw the house. I knew that house!!! My memory came back in short flashes, almost like short movies. I saw myself with my mother, talking about my upcoming move to Forks. I saw Charlie pick me up from the airport in his cruiser. I remembered cooking dinner for him, I even remembered some of the dishes I prepared!!

Elation coursed though my veins. _I remember!!! I know this house!! Thank God._

It felt so good to be sure of something. I felt the smile widen across my face, and for a moment I was afraid my cheeks would crack. I couldn't smile any bigger if I tried.

"What is it love? Do you remember the house?" Edward asked as he rubbed small circles on my back.

"Yes, I remember coming to Forks, I remember cooking for you Dad!! I remember making you chicken enchiladas often!!"

I looked at Charlie with so much emotion, I couldn't help myself. Hot tears pooled in my eyes and made their way down my cheeks. I wasn't embarressed, I was too happy to be. Charlie was crying also and it looked like Edward was close to tears himself. It was a small victory, but the timing was perfect. I no longer felt like giving up.

"Bella that's wonderful. " I didn't have time to think about what Edward was going to do next. Before I could blink his lips were on mine. I was tingling all over from his kiss. My heart was pounding instantly. Just as I started feeling frantic about wanting Edward closer he pulled away, an adorable crooked grin on his face. The grin on his face gave me a weird feling. I knew that grin, it meant something special to me.

_But what? Why do I feel like this moment means something special? _ I felt those damn tears return and I wanted to scream in frustation. Part of me wanted everyone to go away and leave me alone. If there was no one around then I wouldn't have to deal with all these emotions. I wondered how long I could hold up, before I finally had a mental breakdown.

"It's alright love. Your memory will come back when you're ready. Don't push yourself. Just enjoy this victory. I'm not going anywhere. You'll haveforever to remember us." He stroked my cheek tenderly, his eyes smoldering into mine.

_Black, why are his eyes black? Who had black eyes? _

This thought clicked something into place, and I felt a dribble of fear arch through me. Something was definetely wrong with Edward. He wasn't what he seemed and I would find out why. I promised myself I would.

After we were all inside, everything felt awkward once again. Charlie and Edward stood by the couch watching me, looking so hopeful.

I tried to ignore them as I looked around. Relief was a powerful emotion. I knew this house inside and out. Thank God for the framiliar. I wandered from room to room, basking in the comforting feelings surrounding me. Slowliy I climbed the stairs running my hand along the bannister. When I entered my room, I went straight to my bed and laid down. One monent I was alone and the next Edward was there, standing hesitantly in the doorway. I smiled to let him know he was welcome. Again he graced me with that crooked smile, the one that made my breath catch. I felt the same feeling I had earlier in the car.

_Why does it feel like that smile is so important? I just wish I could remember him. _

I watched as Edward made his way to me and laid down on my bed as if it were second nature. He reached out and wrapped me in his cool embrace. The moment I was curled at his side, my head on his chest; something clicked. I gasped.

"Did we lay like this often? On my bed?"

"Almost everynight, Bella. I would hold you until you fell asleep."

I looked deeply into Edwards black eyes, I had that feeling. This moment, lying here with him was framiliar.

"I don't remember anything new, but I have that feeling. That this embrace is normal for us. That we laid here often."

"Bella that's great. Things will come back to you. Would you like me to help jog your memory?" Edward sat up, enthused. His face was lit with excitement and I couldn't help but grin.

"Please. I want desperately to remember you."

Edward stood and reached a hand down to me. I took it, shivering at his icy touch. I pushed any thought of that away. I only wanted to focus on the good things right now. I wanted to bask in the fact that my memory was coming back. We walked outside to a shiny silver car. A Volvo to be exact. Edward was holding the passenger door open for me, and I quickly slid inside.

"Where are we going?" I asked once the car was moving.

"Our place, a secret place."

I studied Edward's face as he drove. He really was beautiful in a timeless way. Pale, smooth white skin. Gorgeous features. Even his hair was beautiful. His hands were graceful on the steering wheel. But all my focus brought questions to mind. I took advantage of the silence to think about them. I wondered why Edward always looked the same. He had no color to his skin. His skin was so cold, even his breath was cold.

_How could that be? How could a person be that cold to the touch and not be shivering constantly? Why_ _would Edward be that cold. Was he even human?_ I chuckled quietly to myself at the last thought. Of course he was human. Maybe more than my memory was effected my the accident. A new thought caught my attention.

_Do his eyes really seem to change color or is it just my mind playing tricks on me?_ I swore when I first saw him in the hospital his eyes were a gold color, like butterscotch, but darker. But now they were as black as coal.

_How could that possibly be? Unless when I saw him at the hospital, I was more out of it than I thought. How else can I explain this?_

I glanced over to find Edward watching me, a gaurded expression on his face_. _

"If you'd rather not do this today, we can go back to your house. I don't want to push you."

"No, I want to go. The faster I get my memory back, the better. How long 'till we get there." As I asked the question Edward pulled over and stopped. We were at the end of a road. Nothing but forest stared back at me.

_Are we hiking? Is he serious? _I tried to look brave as we walked to the edge of the forest. I glanced at Edward, waiting for him to lead the way. He looked so hesitant, like he was mentally battling with himself. After a few seconds he took my hand in his and gently lead me through the brush. We walked in silence as carefully made our way around broken tree branches. The forest was beautiful, different shades of green surrounding me. It was so lush and alive with the sounds of birds and little animals scurrying. Our walk seemed to go on forever until Edward paused again at the what looked like the edge of a clearing.

"What's wrong Edward? Did you change your mind about showing me?"

"No, it's just..." he let his sentence trail off. His eyes boaring into mine, as if he were trying to mental size me up. To make sure I could handle this. I had to reassure him.

"I can handle this, please don't worry. I'll be fine."

"How did you know what I was thinking?" Shock was written all over his face.

"Well it's pretty obvious. You don't want me to get hurt. You don't want to give me more than I can handle, right?" Instead of answering, Edward lead me through the last of the trees into a small meadow. It was a perfect circle. Wildflowers covered the ground here. And when the sun shone down everything glowed. This was special.

_Our very own private world, where we could just be together, just a couple in love. _That thought made me pause.

_How did I know that's what this place meant to me? What did mean by just a couple in love? Had we been more than that? Or was it more complicated than that? _I shook my head slightly, trying to clear the confusing thoughts. I focused on Edward and watched as he walked to middle of the clearing. I saw his lips move but I didn't hear what he was saying. I shook my head once again and focused on his words.

"What I'm going to show you, Bella, may frighten you. But please know that I would rather die than hurt you. If you want to leave just say the word and I'll take you home."

"Edward what are you talking-" I couldn't finish my sentence. The sun came out again just as Edward stepped into it.

_He's sparkling! What kind of person sparkles? It's like there are millions of diamonds in his skin. _

"So beautiful." I murmered, unaware that I'd said the words aloud. Until I saw Edward cringe. Why din't he like being called beautiful, it was the truth. Another thought struck me. _How could he have heard me? We're so far apart. _But before I could process that more thoughts came and went. I felt myself fall to the ground, seconds later Edward was next to me.

"Bella I'm sorry. I couldn't think of another way to tell you. I know you must have noticed things are different about me."

I stared at the beauty surrounding us, then I glanced at him. The sun had retreated again, but there was still a faint sparkle in his skin. Almost like it was glowing. Without thinking I reached out a hand and touched his forearm. His skin was as cool as always, and smooth. Like living granite. I ran my hand down his arm and took his hand in both of mine. As I continued to inspect, I heard his breath catch.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think about it. Is it uncomfortable when I touch you?" His eyes dazzled me. With his free hand Edward reached up to caress my cheek. He slowly lowered his head, his eyes never leaving mine.

When his lips were inches from mine I felt him whisper, "It feels glorious Bella. I missed being with you like this."

My heart was pounding. I felt his icy breath on my face a moment before his lips touched mine. Edward had it all wrong. This was glorious, this moment. Kissing him in our meadow.

Before I was ready Edward pulled away, that crooked grin on his face. When I was able to think again I remembered what he had said.

"So why are things different about you Edward? Did I already know before the accident?" I began stroking his hand again while I waited for him to answer.

"Yes, you knew everything about me. About my family. We had no secrets. Bella, I just don't know how to tell you this. I don't want to hurt you, love."

It was my turn to lay a hand against his cheek. "I'm okay Edward. Maybe you telling me this will bring all my memoried back."

"Yes, that's what I'm hoping for. I don't know how to say this, I'm a vampire. My whole family are vampires."

I felt the shock freeze my face. _Vampires? Did he really just say vampires? That's impossible. There has to be another explanation. A medical condition maybe._

"Edward...what are you..." I let my sentance trail off while I gathered my thoughts, "That's impossible. Vampires are mythological creatures. You, are real."

Edward sighed as he climbed to his feet. I felt my jaw drop as he ran,no blurred away. Not even a second had passed and he was already on the other side of the clearing. He must have been running, but the movements were so fast they blurred. From the other side of the clearing Edward was yelling.

"Can a real person run this fast?" He bent down to pick up a huge rock and threw it across the meadow. It smashed into a tree. The sound was a deafening crack and the rock rained to the ground in tiny pieces. Seconds later the tree crashed to the ground as well.

I cringed when I heard his nest words. "Can a real person be that strong?" Fear was churning in my stomach. This couldn't be happening.

_How can Edward be a vampire? I can see what he_'_s doing, but I can't believe it. This isn't real._

I hadn't realized Edward was sitting by my side again until he reached up to gently pull my hands away from m ears. He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my palm.

"I love you Bella. My exsistence was vague and meaningless without you. I would die to protect you. I would never let anything hurt you. I know this is frightening, but it's true."

I stared at the grass trying to slow my pounding heart. Trying to erase the fear spreading through me, it felt like my blood was turning to ice water.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"How long have you been seventeen?"

"Awhile. Bella you are my life now. I would never hurt you." I looked up when I heard the agony in his voice. His eyes were pleading with me to understand. He truly looked like this moment was hurting him. I knew he was waiting to see if I accepted him, but I couldn't stop the questions from pouring out.

"How can you go out in the sun?"

He laughed, the sound was beautiful, magical. I found myself chuckling too.

"Terrible myth. The only reason we don't go out is because of our sparkles. Why do you think we live in the rainiest place in the US?"

"do you sleep in a coffin?"

"No." He was still laughing, his shoulders shaking from the force of it. "But I do have a gift Bella. As do Alice and Jasper."

A gift? What kind of gift?"

"I can read minds. Well everyones mind, except yours."

"So what's wrong with my mind?" There was something about his expression that made my breath catch.

"Nothing like dejavu. I say I can read minds, and you think there's something wrong with your mind?"

Something clicked and the old movie like flashes started. I saw myself with him in this meadow, I was laying with him stroking his arm.

I sat Edward and I having dinner at a resteraunt. I could hear parts of the conversation. And I knew the reason he was laughing earlier. This conversation was very similar to the first time I found out Edward was a vampire. I felt like I was going to burst. I remembered Edwards, well bits and peices of Edward.

"I remember the resteraunt. I remember sitting with you the first time. I touched you almost like I did today. I thought you were beautiful even then. Oh Edward! I remember!" I threw myself at him, pressing my lips to his. I felt happy tears leak from my eyes. Edward pulled back, his excitement mirroring my own.

"Oh my love. I knew this would help you. What else do you remember?"

I sat back and thought hard. But there was nothing else. No deep feelings of love, nothing. I felt my shoulders slump. I still couldn't remember loving Edward. I didn't feel that love either.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I can't remember anything else." He rubbed comforting circles on my back.

"I'm sorry I pushed you so hard, love. This is wonderful. We've had so much progress today." He stood and gently pulled me to my feet.

"Can I show you something love?"

"Of course." Without warning Edward threw me across his back and told me to hold on tight. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms into a strangle hold around his neck. Then he was running, or maybe you could call it gliding. We were moving so fast I couldn'tbreath. The wind whipped my hair back. I felt something start to poke into my memory. I had a brief flash of running like this with him before. But I didn't have a chance to think about it. We were at the car and Edward was setting me on my feet. He opened the door for me and before I could get in he crushed his lips to mine. It was a possesive kiss, a triumphent kiss. It was wonderful.


	5. Chapter 5 Disaster

Okay, sorry it took so long everyone!!! Writer's block sucks. Anyway I think my story is changing course, so bare with me if it takes awhile to update. I'm loving the reviews, thank you all so much!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with it. I do however own a cool new Twilight t-shirt. :)

Chapter 5- Disaster

Days passed and my memory was as elusive as ever. I spent most of my days with Edward. I asked so many questions and suprisingly he answered everyone. Edward was so patient and gentle. I learned that the Cullens were not normal vampires. They were 'vergetarians' meaning they didn't feed off humans. They dined on the blood of animals. Which Edward had laughingly compared to humans and tofu. I learned a little about each member of my soon to be family. Carlisle had been the first to be changed. He was a doctor and worked at the hospital. He had enormous self control. He had changed Edward next. Then Esme his wife. She was a loving person. Edward considered her as much a mother as his human one. Then there was Rosalie. She was known for her beauty. She found Emmett being mauled by a bear and asked Carlisle to change him. They've been together ever since. Emmett was in a class by himself. He was loud and obnoxious, but had a big heart and protected his loved ones fiercely. Jasper was complex. His love for Alice was timeless and they joined the Cullens years after the others. Alice was exuberent and enthusiatic. Apparently she and I were best friends before the accident. I was looking forward to getting to know them again. I just hoped my memory returned by then. That way all the awkwardness could be skipped.

Things with Charlie had become surprisingly easy. I remembered everything when it came to him, and that's why I was so comfortable. Charlie was my very own comfort zone.

Edward on the other hand seemed somewhere in the middle. I thought about him constantly, but I always had this strange feeling of uneasiness.

_He was so perfect, so beautiful. What could he possiblely find attractive about me. I'm plain and average. _Even with all the uncertainties and uneasiness I still wanted him close.

Today was no different. It was Saterday. Almost one week since I'd come home from the hospital. Edward and I were in the living room, sitting on the couch watching a movie. I was playing with his hand, a habit I developed to calm my nerves. I traced the graceful line of his fingers and rubbed my palm against his cool one. I felt him shudder and raised my eyes to his. There was my favorite crooked grin.

_My crooked grin, yes that's how I always thought of it. It was my personal smile._ Another small victory. I was estatic.

"Did you know that smile has always been my favorite?" I worded the question so he'd know that I remembered. To my delight the grin widened.

"Really, always huh?"

"Always, from the moment I first saw it. I've always thought of it as my smile."

"It is love. You're the only one who makes me feel like this."

I crawled into his lap and rested my head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around me, and we enjoyed the silence. I was thinking back to the meadow when I'd first learned what Edward was, again. Replaying everything in my head. I did this often as I was still unable to believe that this was all real. My boyfriend/fiance was a vampire?? I was still unable to call him my fiance or my boyfriend. It just didn't feel that way between us; and when I really thought about that, I didn't know how things felt between us. Everything was still very confusing. But as I replayed the scene something Edward said caught my attention.

_What did he mean Alice and Jasper had gifts too? _I started playing with Edwards hand again working up the nerve to ask him about it.

"Edward can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"I was thinking about what you said back in the meadow. What did you mean about Alice and Jasper having a gift too?" I watched as Edward laced his fingers through mine. I studied the differences in our skins briefly. His was so smooth and pale. Mine was pale also, but not like his.

"Well, Alice can see the future. She has visions. And Jasper can control emotions. He feels what we feel and if someone is very angry or upset he can give them a feeling of calmness."

"So every vampire had a gift?"

"No. We have a theory that if a person had a particular gift or strength when they are human, then it's amplified when they become a vampire."

"So did Alice see me lose my memory?" I looked up as I asked the question and saw Edward flinch. I knew he felt guilty because he didn't get to me in time to prevent the accident. I didn't blame him at all, but apparently he still blamed himself.

"Alice didn't see you lose your memory, but she did see you get in the accident. Usually her visions are subjective. She only sees the path a person is on at the moment. If the person changes their mind then the vision changes."

"Do you know where I was going when I got into the accident?" An emotion I couldn't name flickered across Edward's face.

"To see Jacob Black. In La Push."

"He came to see me in the hospital. I wonder why he hasn't come to see me since?" I thought out loud. Edward gently placed me beside him on the couch and got up. He had his hands balled into tight fists as he paced the small space.

_What did I say to make him so angry?_

"If he knew what was good for him, he'd continue to stay away." My mouth opened but before I could say anything Edward's phone rang. He answered it and after a few seconds I could tell he was getting bad news. HIs whole body tensed. His face twisted in anger and his eyes sought mine desperately.

"When, Alice? How close are they now?" He listened a little longer before he snapped the phone shut and a let out a low menacing growl. He was at my side a second later, laying a gentle hand on my cheek.

"Bella I'm sorry. I know you don't know what's going on right now, but I need you to trust me. We need to go, now!" He was already swinging me up into his arms. Apparently I wasn't moving fast enough for his liking.

"What about Charlie? He'll be home in a few hours, I still have to get dinner started." Edward lowered me to my feet again.

"Leave him a note Bella. Tell him you're with Alice and you're not sure what time you'll be home." I worked frantically to write the note. I just hope Charlie could read my writing. As soon as I was done writing Edward hurried me out of the house and into his Volvo. When we were speeding away I asked, "Where are we going?"

"My house. I had hoped when I brought you back you would already have your memory back. I apologize for how overwhelming it will be."

"Who was on the phone? What happened?"

"It was Alice. She had a vision." It didn't take a genius to figure out that something terrible was going to happen. I was afraid to ask, but I had to know.

"What did she see Edward? Please don't keep anything from me, I need to know the truth." I watched him grip the steering wheel harder and his face twisted in anger.

"There is another coven of vampires headed this way. Alice doesn't know why, but they're travelling quickly." I reached out and grabbed the dashboard trying to steady myself.

"How many are there Edward?"

"Four."

"Okay, but there's seven of you. Can't you just explain that this is your home and ask them to move on?"

"Bella they do not share our lifestyle. Another point of concern, you are very much a human. A delicious smelling, warm blooded human." I felt all the warmth drain from my body.

_Oh, crap. My luck things would go from bad to worse. I'm like a jinx to everyone I'm around. _Then an idea struck me.

"What if I leave Edward? Go back to Phoenix for a few weeks. That would give you guys time to talk without me complicating the situation."

Desperation was written all over his face. His eyes were full of pain and fear. "No, absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"For several reasons. First, you are not the only human in the area."

"But I'm the only one who knows about vampires. And the only human you're in love with. That's a weakness for you."

"Please, Bella. Let me worry about my weaknesses. Second, I've almost lost you on several occasions, please don't ask me to go through with that. I'm too selfish. I need you near me. Please." The last word was a whispered plea. I felt my heart tug. I couldn't hurt Edward. I've already hurt him too much already.

"I won't leave Edward. I promise." I felt him pull my hand and he laced his fingers through mine and rested them on his thigh. We drove in silence for a few minutes. I watched as he turned into an overgrown lane snaking his way up to a beautiful house. Then there was a flurry of activity. My door was being opened, I looked up expecting to see Edward face. Instead there was this tiny woman with spiky black hair and golden eyes staring at me.

"Bella, I'm Alice. We need to get you inside."

Once we were inside I finally got to meet the other Cullens. Carlisle was blond and young looking. He was gentle and reasurred me that everything would be fine. Esme greeted me with a hug and a smile.

"Hello Bella, welcome back. We've missed you so much." I gave her a wobbly smile. It all felt so strange. This all white room felt cold and unused. It was hard to imagine people living here. Nothing out of place, no dust. I noticed all of this with a quick sweep of my eyes. I noticed a tall blonde man lingering on the stairs. Alice danced over to him and looped her arm through his.

"This is Jasper. Our lifestyle has been a little difficult for Jazz. Please excuse him."

"No problem." I mumbled. I was too busy staring at the tall blond woman making her way in from another room. She caught my gaze and gave me a tight smile. He eyes were less than friendly and I immediately lowered my gaze. Edward wrapped a protective arm around my waist and pulled me tightly to his side. "This is Rosalie." I nodded afraid to meet her eyes again.

"And I'm Emmett. The coolest of the family." His laughter echoed through the room. I relaxed a little as I took in his big friendly smile. HIs eyes were the same honey-gold color as the rest of his family. I reached out my hand to him as he got closer thinking he wanted to shake hands. Instead he pulled me from Edward's arms into a bone crushing hug.

"Can't breathe!" I choked out. I was released immediately.

"Sorry." Came Emmett's sheepish response. Edward stepped forward to wrap his arm around me once again.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but we need to figure out what we're going to do with her." Rosalie said wither gaze hah distain in her voice. I ducked my head, regreting that I always seemed to put the Cullens in this situation. I felt guilty because they felt they had to protect me. I was just has much the family's weakness as I was Edward's weakness.

"We're not doing anything with her, Rose. Bella's staying with me." Edward stated tightly.

"We know it's not easy, but Rose is right. This will be so much easier if she's not present." Carlisle reasoned, giving me a quick reassuring smile. I was about to say something when Alice gasped. Her eyes were unfocused and sort of glazed looking. Then in a second they returned to normal and Edward was growling low in his chest. I could feel the panic creeping through my veins about to burst to life. I took several deep breaths.

_What is going on? How did I mange this before, without losing my mind? _

"What is it Alice?" Charlisle asked, he was at her side before I even saw him move. Alice met my eyes, they were full of desperate sorrow.

"We can't hide Bella. They'll find her and kill her."

_Kill me!!! Seriously what am I doing? Why would I put myself in danger like this everyday? Is it worth it? Is being with Edward and his family worth possibly dying? _

I couldn't stop the thoughts running though my head. They seemed to come from somewhere deep in my head, and popped out before I even knew I was consiously thinking them. I was scared silly now, and all I wanted to do was run away. I got the feeling, thought Edward had yet to mention anything, that this kind of thing has happened before. That I've been in danger and the Cullens had to band together to save me. It was ridiculous. _Why had I allowed it? _

"So we can't hide her, what can we do then?" Emmett was pacing back and forth in front of the front door. He seemed relaxed and talked as if we were discussing dinner.

"We'll have to meet them head on. One of us will have to stay with Bella." Carlisle was looking at Edward who was already nodding.

"I'll stay with her. We'll keep her here. Charlie's at work for now, their empty house won't be tempting to the new vampires." Edward paused briefly to squeeze me closer to him. I was pretty sure he meant it as a reasuring embrace, but it seemed to amplify my panic.

Edward glanced back at Alice. She went perfectly motionless and her gaze held the same unfocused look for a few seconds. She must have been trying to search the future.

My mouth dropped open when Alice sadly shook her head, and Edward let out a quiet string of curses. I was positive he hadn't meant for me to hear them, but I felt the blush creep into my cheeks anyway.

"Somehow they realize she's here with you and they break up. One manages to slip by us and..." She let her voice fade.

"What can we do to keep her safe?" This time the question came from Esme. She looked like a worried mother. I had to keep reminding myself that the Cullens thought of me as a daughter already.

"Hey, why can't she stay with me? That allows Edward and Alice and Jasper, our gifted ones; to be there. Between the three of them who's gonna get by. If they by chance do, I'm the strongest. They won't be geting to Bella." Emmett practiaclly glowed with excitement over his idea. I would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious.

Edward lowered his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Is this the only way Alice?"

"Yes, I've already checked. This idea will work. No one will get to Bella."

Edward nodded. His looked down at me. I felt my mouth fall open. He looked so sad.

"I'm sorry Bella, to have to put you through this. I'm so sorry."

I wanted to reassure him that I was okay. That I loved him. That I had every confindence in him. But it would have been a lie. I was terrified, I didn't want to be here. I wanted my life to go back to what it was when I first came home from the hospital. I knew what I had to do. As soon after this fiassco I would have to break the news to Edward.


	6. Chapter 6 Decisions

Okay, so I know a lot of you will be a tad angry about this, but I promise it will get better. I want to thank everyone for all the reviews and hits...this is awesome!!!! I owe everyone a big virtual chocolate chip cookie.

Disclaimer: Again I don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Six- Deception

Alice couldn't be exactly sure when the other coven was going to arrive. As a result everyone was tense and gaurded. Pour Emmett who remained his cheerful, obnoxious self took the brunt of everyone's anger. It was as if nothing could faze Emmett. He looked at this impending disaster as a way to improve his fighting skills. His confidence in himself and his family was unshakeable.

I, however, was having some serious doubts. I never doubted that I was safe. How could seven vampires with skin like living stone fail to protect one very breakable human? I didn't have an answer. No, my lack of confidence was in myself. Would I be able to hold it together? Would my memory come back, or would I have to follow my self-preserving instincts? The thought of hurting the Cullens, especially Edward prompted that strange ache to settle in my chest.

It wasn't fair to any of them. They only loved me, but some how I managed to bring pain and fear to the family. Enough was enough.

I felt so confused and lost, I wish I had someone I could trust to talk to. Someone to tell me I wasn't insane and that any normal person would be scared out of their mind right now. Suddenly Jake's face appeared in my mind. His soft golden brown skin and playful smile called to me. I had to see him, now. I just had to figure out how.

As soon as my mind was made up I ran downstairs. I needed to call and make sure he was there. Grabbing the phone I dialed Billy's number. On the second ring I hung up and sat down heavily in the nearest chair. Without even realizing it I'd dialed Jake's dad's number. When I came home from the hospital over a week ago, I couldn't even remember where Jake lived. Now I suddenly remembered his number. _Wow, I guess the memory is a tricky thing._ I thought to myself.

I concentrated hard trying to see if I remembered anything else. The flashes started aburptly. I saw Jake and I walking together on first beach. I saw myself riding motorcycles with him. I remembered his angry face when I left for Italy to save Edward from the Volturi. Then as quickly as they started, the flashes ended.

I felt emptier because of those movie like scenes. I remembered the jumbled feelings I had for Jake. The racking guilt I felt each time I hurt him, but also the intense need to see him again. I remembered the desperation I felt when I left for Italy, it threatened to crush me even now. Still, no matter how hard I tried there was nothing else but a feeling of fond friendship for Edward. The pain in my chest intensified and I felt hot tears forming salty lines on my cheeks.

I dialed Billy's number again and on the third ring Jake answered. His voice made me cry harder and I could hardly find my voice though the tears.

"Hello?"

"Jake, I need to see you." I tried unsuccessfully to keep the anxiety at bay, but it was obvious.

"Bells is that you? What's wrong?" Jake's tone was sharper too.

"I need to see you. I need to get away from here. I need a break, and a friend. " Another thought occured to me. After the Italy incident were we still friends? I waited impatiently for his answer. The silence seemed to last forever.

"What did that bloodsucker do to you?" I gasped at the word 'bloodsucker'. My face twisting in anger.

"Nothing Jake! Don't call him that, his name is Edward. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Never mind Jake."

"Wait Bells, don't go. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Please." I felt my body go limp with relief.

"I'll be there shortly." Then he was gone.

I felt a cool breeze and looked up to find Alice dancing towards me. My jaw dropped open and I snapped it shut.

"How did you get in here? I never heard you knock."

Alice rolled her eyes and plopped into the other chair. "I'm a vampire Bella, of course you won't hear me. And since when do I knock?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes. I gave her an expectant look, hoping she wouldn't notice the tear stains on my cheeks. Too late, she was already leaning forward to brush them away.

"You can't go Bella."

"How did you know-"

"I can see the future."

_Oh yeah, crap. _I felt fresh tears pool in my eyes. _I have to go, she doesn't understand. And I can't explain it. _

"I have to. I need a break." That was all I dared to say.

"Edward won't like it."

"Alice, I'll be fine. Please, I'm begging you. Just let me go." Her topaz eyes stared into mine and after a few seconds she sighed heavily and hung her head. She grabbed my hand in her cold one and squeezed gently.

"If this is what you need, then go. I won't stop you, and I'll explain to Edward." She released my hand and I stared at my shoes unable to read my own feelings.

"Thank you Alice." I glanced up to find that she was already gone. Great.

I heard gravel crunch in the driveway. Jake was here. I bounded out the door and straight into his arms. He buried his face in my hair and sighed. His embrace was warm, very warm. A warning poked at my memory. I shook my head, ignoring it. I didn't care right now. I just wanted to get away.

Once we were on our way to La Push, I looked at Jake to find a huge grin plastered across his face. He was chuckling quietly to himself.

"What's so funny?"

"How did you sneak away this time?"

_Sneak away? Why would I have to sneak? Am I not my own person who can make my own desicions?_

"Why would I sneak Jake?" The grin fell away. Jake quickly glanced at me, his face unsure.

"Well, Edward doesn't like me much. Generally you snuck away so he couldn't stop you." He answered after a few minutes.

"Why would he try to stop me?" Jacob flinched.

"How much do you remember about me?"

I was silent for a few minutes gathering my thoughts. I prayed I'd be able to remember everything important. "I remember you are my best friend. I remember that I've hurt you over and over again. I remember riding motorcycles with you. Hey you showed up at my school on one, and I jumped on. I ditched school with you that day!! I remember that!! Why is it so much easier with you?" The last thought was more to myself, but Jake jumped on it.

"Yes, the day with the motorcycles was one of those times you snuck away. It happened so fast no one could stop you. By the way, why it what so much easier with me?"

I blushed. For some reason I felt like I shouldn't tell Jake. Like it was unfair to Edward. But I couldn't lie either. "I remember things so much easier and faster when it's about you. I remembered you phone number without having to think about it. Then as soon as I realised that I had a bunch of flashes and some more memories came back. I mean I had a couple of flashes with Edward, but mostly it's these weird feelings."

"What kind of feelings?"

I watched as we pulled up to his tiny house. We got out of the car and I felt my eyes widen.

_How did I not notice how big Jake was? How did he even fit into this tiny house? _

He came around to my side and took my hand in his huge one.

"What kind of feelings?" Jake asked again. We walked past the house. It was nice to just walk around with him. No pressure to remember anything.

"Like I shoud know something, but I can't quite grasp it. Or just a feeling of certainty about something. It's difficult to explain."

Jake shook his head, "No, I get it. So what else do you remember about me?"

"Not much else." Jake pulled us down on a fallen log and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

_Why does he feel so hot? It's like he has a really bad fever. Maybe he's getting the flu or something._ That last thought brought on a new set of flashes. I saw myself sitting in my truck outside his house, determined to see him. I could see us fighting. I was crying. I saw him climb in my bedroom window, he was pleading with me. It was at the moment something clicked in my head. I almost felt the lightbulb turn on. I gasped and covered my face in my hands. I felt Jake awkwardly rub my back trying to sooth me.

"This isn't fair. You were supposed to be my safe zone! All you've done is make more problems, dammit!"

"You're safe zone? What's wrong Bells? I don't understand, you spaced out for a couple of minutes and then you started crying. Did you remember something?"

_As if he doesn't know. A werewolf, seriously? A vampire for a boyfriend and a werewolf for a best friend? What's next? I turn into a witch? _I uncovered my face and met Jake's eyes. He understood immediately and hugged me tighter.

"I know it's not easy Bells, but what else can we do?"

"So that's why I sneak away. Edward thinks you're dangerous."

"Yes, but I would never hurt you. Bells, I love you."

I groaned and covered my face again. "Not you too," I mumbled through my hands.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

My head snapped up, "No! Please, I'm sorry. I want to stay with you a while longer." Jake tried to hide it, but I didn't miss the smug smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Jake you're awful."

"I'm sorry. Hey, do you wanna do something fun?"

"Like what?" Jake wiggled his eyebrows and jumped up, almost bouncing with impatience. I stared up at him. I could see he wasn't going to tell me what was on his mind so I sighed and stood up. Jake grabbed my hand and almost pulled me the whole way to his garage. Once we were inside my eyes fell on the motorcycles. It would be nice to hop on and let the wind sweep my worries away for a while. I hesitated.

"Edward would have a heart attack if it were possible."

"Edward's not here. You deserve a break from all the seriousness. Come on Bells, just for a little while. Lets pretend it's just you and me. No other people to worry about."

I sighed again, but I started pushing my shiny red bike outside.

I had Jake walk me through starting the bike again, just to be safe. Ten minutes later we were roaring down the road. I shook my hair back behind me and smiled widely. A quick glance told me Jake was grinning too.

All too soon it was time to head back. I tried not to feel sad, Jake had been right. It was just what I needed, and I didn't want this time to end. As we put the bikes back in the garage I could already feel my conflicting emotions threatening to smother me. Jake asked if I wanted to stay for dinner, but I just shook my head. I knew Edward was worried and I wanted to let him know I was okay.

We drove to my house in silence. I said a quick goodbye and promised Jake we'd ride again soon.

I was home in time to get dinner started for Charlie. I decided on the enchilada dish I knew he liked. It would be time consuming so I knew I could focus on that instead of all the different emotions swimming around inside my head. I felt rather than heard a new presence in the kitchen with me. I looked up and found Edward standing in the doorway, seeming unsure if he should enter. I smiled to let him know he was welcome. He was at my side before I could blink, pressing a gentle kiss on my lips. The feel on his cool lips and the sweetness of his breath sent my head spinning. I felt my heart kick into double time. Dropping the spoon I was holding I turned to press my body closer to his. I wound my arms around his neck and twisted my fingers in his hair. Edward pulled back, chuckling softly. I was panting as he pressed open mouthed kisses along my neck.

"I missed you today love." His breath was cool on my neck. When Edward kissed the pulse pounding in my neck I shivered. Not becasue I was cold, but because it felt so good. I wanted to kiss him forever. Edward abruptly stepped back and I swayed a little. Slowly I opened my eyes, still feeling dazed.

Edward smiled my favorite smile and brushed his fingers from my temple to my jawline. I sighed, knowing I was going to ruin this romantic haze surrounding us; but I felt like I had to get this out.

"I went to see Jake today." The smile fell away from his beautiful face, and I regretted opening my mouth.

"I know. Alice explained what happened. Bella I'm sorry my family or I overwhelmed you. I never meant to hurt you or confuse you. I know a lot has happened and it's very hard to deal with. " Edward let his voice trail off.

I was about to say something when Edward's phone rang. I watched his expression go from sad to angry to livid in mere seconds. I clutched his arm. I didn't have to wait for him to get off the phone to know what was happening.

The other coven was here. Great.

"Bella, Emmett's on his way. I won't leave until he gets here."

I nodded staring at the floor. My stomach felt like it had fallen out. Edward hooked a finger under my chin, tilting my face up. I met his eyes, and my heart twisted at the raw emotion smoldering there.

"Bella, I promise you will be safe. No one will hurt you."

"I know Edward." It almost felt like my heart was about to join my stomach on the floor. I knew Edward loved me, it was written all over his god-like face. The problem was it just wasn't enough. Not anymore. I couldn't explain the weird ache that flared in my chest when I caused him pain; but I knew with no memory of our relationshipn that the love I used to feel was gone. I couldn't stay in a world that put my life in danger every day without something to show for it. Before I could lose my nerve I stared one last time into Edward's beautiful honey colored eyes and said,

"When this is over and we're all safe, I need to talk to you about something important."

Edward hesitated and I had a feeling he was about to ask what I wanted to dicuss; but to my relief Emmett burst through the front door.

"Alright big brother lets get this done!" He had a wide smile on his face. He could have been talking about going to a football game. He didn't seem worried at all. Emmett and Edward talked quietly for a few minutes before Edward came back to me and pressed a light kiss to my mouth.

"I love you Bella." he murmered before he was gone. I felt fresh tears well up, and I pushed them away. There would be time for tears later.


	7. Chapter 7 Alone

Chapter Seven- Alone (EPOV)

I decided to run, instead of drive to Bella's house. I felt the wind whip past my face, I pushed myself to run faster. I don't know if I was trying to escape the thoughts that had been torturing me for days, or if it was just because I was so eager to see Bella. My love. I couldn't get past the guilt that was threatening to choke me.

_Why didn't I insist she agree with me that Jacob was too dangerous to see? Maybe if I trusted a little less she would still love me. _

I could still hear the sounds of her tires squeeling and the horrible sound of Bella's terrified scream. The accident played in my head with startling detail. It was at times like this that I cursed my perfect memory.

I knew Bella was confused and scared. I would give anything to be able to help her through this.

I arrived at her house and quietly let myself in out of habit. Then as I approached the kitchen I wondered if I should have knocked first. The expression on her beautiful face would have brought tears to my eyes if I were human. Bella looked like she was being ripped apart from the inside out. I wanted to run to her side and hold her in my arms. I wanted to kiss the worry from her sweet face and remind her that I loved her. Somehow I had the feeling that would only make the situation worse. I wondered briefly if I should go back home, but Bella looked up at that moment.

Bella seemed to sense my hesitation and gave me a smile, which I noticed didn't quite meet her eyes. I ran to her side and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. Their warmth almost undid me. I felt a small trickle of venom before it ceased. I had my thirst completely under control. My desire for Bella was a whole other matter.

Almost the moment my lips touched hers, I heard her heart speed up. Her breathing became shallower and I smiled against her lips. I've always had this effect on Bella, one touch from me and her heart started racing. I was sure if I was human she would have had the same effect on me.

The spoon she had been holding clattered to the ground. I felt her arms move around my neck and her fingers twist in my hair. That was my undoing. I could feel my control slipping. I wanted her. God, how I wanted her. This moment, however would not have been the best time to lose control. I wanted Bella to be sure of her love for me first.

I tore my lips from hers, but I couldn't stop kissing her. I chuckled at the instant pouting look on Bella's face. Instead I trailed kisses down her neck, finding the spot on her neck where her pulse raced.

"I missed you today love." She shivered and I bit back a growl. I pulled away reminding myself I had a lifetime to be with Bella. I waited for Bella to open her eyes, those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. I couldn't resist touching her one more time. My fingers moving from her temple to her jaw, lingering a moment before I dropped my hand.

"I went to see Jake today." Bella said, the words rushing out. It felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. Alice had told me she went to La Push. She said Bella had pleaded with her to let her go. I understood that Alice loved Bella as much as I did, and that it was just as hard for her to let her go, but it didn't erase the feeling of dread in my stomach.

I was losing Bella. As more time went by I watched her slowly distance herself from me mentally. Her body still had the same reaction as it always did, but with her memory gone, she no longer felt the love that she once did. To be honest that scared me more than I let anyone know. The thought that someday Bella wouldn't want me was terrifying. How would I exist in this world without her by my side. I cursed the fates, knowing that this was my punishment for being what I was. You couldn't be something out of a horror movie and still find true love. Even if you did, it was ridiculous to think it would last.

"I know. Alice explained what happened. I'm sorry my family or I overwhelmed you. I never meant to hurt you or confuse you. I know a lot has happened and it's very hard to deal with." I let my voice trail off. I was rambling, and I couldn't remember a time in all my one hundred years when I ever rambled. It was the fear that made my words tumble over one another to get out. Inside I was screaming and begging Bella not to leave me.

Before I had the chance to say anything else my phone rang. Semi-thankful for the intrusion I answered on the second ring.

"Edward, they're almost here. They're moving much faster than I originally thought. I'm sorry. Emmett's on his way over. We need you here, hurry." Alice wasted no time getting to the point. I felt anger well up, I wouldn't lose Bella.

Bella must have sensed something was wrong, I felt her warm little hands wrap around my arm. A small part of my brain sighed at the touch. She must care, even if just a little bit.

"Bella, Emmett's on his way. I won't leave until he gets here." I wanted to take her in my arms and run with her. As far away as I could go. Away from my family, away from the danger lurking. I wanted to take the time to show her how much I loved her and help her find new love for me if her memory never came back. As usual though there wasn't time. There never was.

Bella turned her eyes to the floor as if unable to handle the feeling revealed in my eyes. Before I could think about it I hooked a finger under her chin forcing her to look me in the eyes. Forcing her to see everything there. I opened myself up to her in that moment.

"Bella I promise you will be safe. No one will hurt you." I tried to keep my voice neutral.

"I know Edward." She seemed to pause and looked directly into my eyes this time, all hesitancy gone,"When this is all over and we're all safe, I need to talk to you about something important."

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what she wanted to discuss, but Emmett stormed in at the worst moment. Or maybe the best moment if I was completely honest with myself.

"Alright big brother, let's get this done!" I couldn't help but chuckle at the wide smile on Emmett's face. I met Emmett at the door wanting to speak to him without Bellla hearing.

"Emmett if something goes wrong, Esme will call. I want you to take Bella and get away as fast as you can. Don't let anyone hurt her."

"Relax, no one's getting to Bella. Besides, Alice said there would be no fight. Everything will work out just fine. You, big brother, are paranoid."

I let that remark slide. I knew Emmett didn't mean any harm, but I was paranoid when it came to Bella. She tended to be a danger magnet; and with her memory gone I felt even more panicked at the thought of leaving her. Before I could change my mind I ran back to her side and kissed her lips as gently as I could. "I love you Bella" I whispered before I ran to meet my family.

According to Alice the best place to meet the other coven was in a park in the next town. We didn't want to risk them actually getting to Forks. Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and I would be the ones on the fore front. Esme would hang back as much as she could, ready to call Emmett at the first sign of trouble.

I raced through the forest, the wind whipping past me. Normally running comforted me, but tonight the further I ran, the more anxious I became. I wanted desperately to stay with Bella.

Carlisle met me at the clearing by the park.

"They'll be here in six minutes." Carlisle's eyes searched mine. _I know you're hurting son. We're all here for you. _

Carlisle's thoughts were less than comforting. I shook my head trying to let him know I didn't want to discuss it right now. I couldn't think about it, I needed all my focus for this confrontation. Although Alice was confident all would be well in the end, I couldn't shake the sinking feeling in my gut. I didn't know if it was because of my tortured sweet Bella, or that this situation with the new coven seemed a little too easy. Maybe we missed something.

It was calming to go over Alice's visions, since I saw them as clearly as she did. Never once did anything strike me as odd, or off. It bothered me that I couldn't shake the feeling of impending disaster.

_What are we missing?_ I thought frantically.

I heard Alice gasp and cleared my mind of everyone's thoughts, hers. I saw the vision. Four vampires were running top speed at us, but instead of intimidating them with the size of our coven, it seemed to spur them on. Our size was nothing more than a challenge. The new coven had four members, two male and two female; and they were thirsty.

My eyes immediately sought Carlisle's. I was hoping for reassurance or guidance. To my utter disappointment his eyes held the same shock as I felt in my own. This was a situation we'd never been in.

We had exactly 3 minutes to prepare for a bloodthirsty battle.

"Alice, how could your first visions have been so wrong? How could you not have seen this?" I begged. I tried to keep the anger from my voice, but it was useless. I knew we relied too much on Alice's visions to be correct. I had to remind myself that the future wasn't set in stone. I watched Alice's face fall. She was devastated. I should have known she would blame herself, what kind of brother was I to only make it worse?

"I don't know what happened, why couldn't I see that they were really looking for a fight. I'm sorry"

I pinched bridge of my nose, "Alice it's not your fault. I'm sorry I blamed you."

"Why didn't I see anything about this then?" Carlisle laid a hand on his daughters shoulder. His face a careful, calm mask.

"Alice, we understand. The important thing is we stand together. Do we have time to get Emmett? Will we need him?"

I watched as Alice searched the future. Her face was sad when she met my eyes. She shook her head. It was unlike Alice to be so quiet. I started to feel the panic surging again.

Suddenly a new scent clung to the air. A bitter, evil scent. They were here. I vaguely heard Jasper's growl and Rosalie's hiss. I was searching their minds, only to find nothing.

_What is this? I can't read their minds? This can't be possible, I'm supposed to help us gain the advantage, how can I do that if I can't read their minds? _

I crouched down ready to attack, all my attention focused on group about to break into the clearing. I felt more than saw Carlisle crouch down, his whole body tense. If Carlisle was tense and ready for a fight, this was not a good sign.

The quartet of vampires stepped into the clearing in the next instant. I searched their faces, but I had never seen them before in all my decades of existence. There were two males and two females.

The tallest one was clearly the leader. He towered over the other three. He might even rival Emmett in size. He had blonde hair styled into careful spikes. The other male was of average height and size. His black hair a sharp contrast to his glowing red eyes. His whole body seemed to vibrate with anger.

The two females could have been sisters. They both had pale white-blonde hair. Both were small like Alice, I had to remind myself that looks could be deceiving. Those two vampires could easily rip me apart. One glance in their fire red eyes and I knew it to be true. There would be know way to convince them to try our lifestyle. They were content hunting and killing humans. Destroying families and bringing fear to every town they traveled through.

A low growl came from the dark haired male as he took the slightest step forward. The rest of the coven mirrored his action.

Jasper crouched lower and moved to stand in front of Alice. Now was not the time to remind him that his wife could take care of herself. That little pixie of a woman was not a fair fighter.

My chest felt like it was on fire, the panic pushing on my heart. I was struggling not to scream. Instead I let out a growl that even I didn't recognize. I searched again in the minds of the new coven. I had to know what they were doing here. It took all my concentration, but I found the reason why I had no answers earlier. One of them had a shield and it was strong enough to protect the entire coven. Unfortunately for them, whoever possessed the shield was weak from thirst. I managed to hear their thoughts. Weak as they were because of the shield. The Cullens had been targeted because of our size. This coven of four were trying to destroy all of the larger covens. I don't know if they were trying to do so to gain dominance over other vampires, like the Volturi. Or if they were trying to take over the area and we were in the way. Either way, it was going to be a gruesome fight.

A piercing scream filled the air as one of the blondes launched herself at Rosalie. I heard the crack as Rosalie's arm was snapped. The female took advantage of the moment of shock to throw Rosalie into the nearest tree. Both the tree and Rosalie crashed to the ground, the crack still echoing in the air.

I spun just in time to see the other female lung at Esme. I ran to my mother, glad for my speed I reached her with a second to spare. I reached my hand up and caught the female by the neck and threw her across the clearing. Dirt and mud sprayed up as she hit the ground. A howl rising up, agony evident as her body snapped in different places from the hit on the ground.

I turned to Esme, not expecting the anger in her expression.

"Are you alright Edward?"

I couldn't help but smile, even in a fight she was making sure we were okay, "I'm fine Esme" Before I could say another word I felt something knock me to the ground. The black haired male was over me, teeth snapping. I raised my arms trying to push him off. He was stronger than I'd anticipated. He easily held me to the ground. Fury replaced the panic I had been feeling earlier.

_Please let me survive this! Please let my family survive this! Please let Bella be safe! _I chanted over and over again as I fought to keep the vampire above me from ripping my arm from my body. Pain was radiating all over. I gritted my teeth against it. I tried desperately to tune out the sounds of my family fighting so I could concentrate on my own fight. Agony ripped through my arm as the black haired male ripped the skin from my wrist. The venom burned, making me writhe against it.

A picture of Bella flashes in my mind. Her dark hair flowing around her shoulders, those chocolate brown eyes so trusting and a delicate blush spreading across her cheeks. I had to survive this, if only to hear what she wanted to tell me. I had to know she was alright.

I reached up and took his head in both of mine and twisted. Pulling as I twisted I could hear the tendons and muscles snapping. I ripped his head from his shoulders. Repeating the same steps with the rest of his limbs, I ripped him apart.

Once I was on my feet I could once again hear the sounds of the fight. Growls and hisses were echoing off the trees. The sounds similar to wild animals in a fight to the death. Jasper and Alice were testing the big male for a weakness. Alice dancing just out of his reach, while Jasper was closing in. It would only take a second for Jasper to get the upper hand. He appeared to waiting for the perfect moment when Alice had him completely distracted.

Across the clearing Carlisle and Rose were trying to keep the the two blondes at bay. I scanned yet again trying to find Esme. But she was no where to be seen. I raced to Carlisle's side. Searching his thoughts as I approached I found him carefully plotting the two females death. Carlisle was not a fighter and I was disturbed to hear the dark nature of his thoughts. My appearance gave us the upper hand as the females paused. It was only for a second, but it was enough. Rosalie crouched, a hiss escaping, her lips curled back exposing her teeth. She threw herself and the blonde on the right. Before the pair had even reached the ground, Rose had torn the females head from her body. Rose kept ripping, until all that was left were bones. Rose had shredded the skin, throwing pieces of it as she tore them off the bones. I reached over, puling her off the dead vampire. Dry, racking sobs coming from Roses bent form. She collapsed on the ground and Carlisle and I were left to deal with the last female.

Before either of us could make a move Alice screamed in pain and we both spun to find her laying on the ground in front of a huge boulder and Jasper was hanging piggyback style from the last male. I ran towards them and into the big vampire. All three of us crashing to the ground. With one last growl I held him down as Alice and Jasper dismembered him. When that was done both of my sibling collapsed the same dry sobs shaking their bodies as Rose.

I heard Carlisle's growl of frustration. The last female was gone. Then it occurred to me that I was still unable to find Esme. Worry and panic building again I searched Carlisle's wild eyes.

_Esme's gone, son. The big blonde grabbed her before I could stop him._ I shuddered as Carlisle's thoughts registered. She was gone. It felt like my chest was caving in. She had been the first woman to show me love and kindness since I became a vampire. Now I understood the sobs coming from my siblings and the rage that drove them to kill so quickly. I felt the same emotion. It made me want to hunt the last female down and kill her as slowly and painfully as I could.

"Where is she?" I hadn't realized I asked until I heard my voice cut through the desperate cries. My voice sounded hoarse and low like I'd been screaming for hours. I followed my family's gazes and found her lying near the edge of the clearing. I hadn't realized I was running to her until I was one the ground next to her gathering her in my shaking arms.

Carlisle sunk to his knees next to me, agony making him looker old for the first time in his lifetime as a vampire. I let all the emotions I'd experienced over the last month well up inside me. It felt like a river of lava running through me. I could feel it welling, rising closer to the surface and without thinking I tipped my head back and let out a scream that echoed and radiated for miles.


End file.
